Updated: Sep 11
**Adult Content Warning**
The Sanity of a Summer Vacation
If you're looking for ideas on the best summer vacation for couples, then read this article.
Well, summer is here, and it's time to get out of the house for a summer vacation. I used to ask my spouse where she would like to go for summer vacation, and she would always give me that look, "I don't know," and shrug her shoulders, giving me the signal to figure it out for both of us.
After years of living with my spouse, I know she wants to get out of the house. However, where to take her is the question?
Summer vacation always starts with determining how many days you can take off before you need to come back to the reality of paying bills and creating income.
For some of you, a summer vacation involves dragging your children to a summer vacation destination. I understand the significance of the family summer vacation.
I can see why sex and romance get completely FUCKED up for those couples with children.
Last time, I was in a car with one of my friends who had children. It was a big FUCKING nightmare!
They put their three boys in the back seat, and those boys were out to kill each other, and my friends thought nothing of the world war developing in their back seat.
Most parents lose some of their marbles and their sex life when they have children.
However, my spouse and I did not have children together, so my spouse and I had to create forms of entertainment (sex) intertwined with traveling to new destinations each year to keep our life interesting and romantic.
Some of our friends looked at my wife and I as Martians. I'm not quite sure if they dreamed they could be in the same predicament or if they just needed a break from their children.
I keep telling some of our friends to give their kids to the grandparents for fourteen days a year to recover their sanity!
Some of our friends took our advice, took a break from their kids, and had a much better relationship as a couple. However, some of my other married friends never took a break from their kids, and they seemed to be on edge every time I spoke to them.
Sad. Everyone needs a break.
So this article will cover romantic ideas for summer vacation for all types of couples needing a break.
Thrill-seeking on Summer Vacation
Every summer vacation, I make certain my vacation has some form of thrill-seeking adventure.
John, what are you talking about when it comes to thrill-seeking?
Thrill-seeking can be the following: going in a shark cage, hang-gliding, mountain climbing, surfing a monster wave, car racing, cliff diving, or anything that you have never tried before (that you fear).
If I fear the activity, then I place the activity on your list of things to do.
Life comes down to one thing. Enjoying life to the fullest.
As soon as you become fearful and stop living life to its full potential, then you stop living, and you might as well hang- out with people who play bridge and scrabble.
So choose an activity that is considered thrill-seeking for your summer vacation, and then find a destination for your vacation to fulfill your thrill-seeking adventure.
A couple of years ago, I got a "wild hair up my ass" and chose to get in a shark cage with scuba gear, while great white sharks tried to eat me for dinner.
Believe me! This type of thrill-seeking will get your heart racing to the point your heart wants to come out your chest, and you literally SHIT in your shorts.
This means my summer vacation had to be in Cape Town, South Africa.
We stayed at the One & Only Cape Town Spa and Resort. It was $556 per night. Very reasonable compared to other luxury spa hotels I have stayed at.
In addition, the shark cage adventure was $3,000, expensive, but well worth it.
While I was shitting my pants while two great white sharks tried to break into my cage and eat me, my spouse went to the hotel's spa to relax.
Women in general are a lot smarter than men.
When I got back, I asked her, "How was your spa, honey?" She replied, "I got my hair and nails done first, then a gentleman with big hands rubbed my pussy and back." Affiliate Disclosure: We earn a small commission if you purchase through this link.
"You didn't get your pussy fucked, did you?" No, but the masseuse stuck his fingers in my pussy, so I got all wet and hot!"
Well, at least my spouse had a good time!
I needed a Scotch just to take a nap. I had a very bad visual stuck in my mind of two killer sharks trying to make me their chicken dinner.
These two sharks were attacking me on two sides; my nerves were shot by the time I got out the cage.
This thrill-seeking adventure can be your worst nightmare come to life!
I would recommend three shots of your favorite whisky when you get back from this type of adventure, just so you can go to sleep.
I sleep for several hours, and then my spouse woke me up for her back-rub special. I love her! She knows just how to please a me!
She turned me over after the back rub, and started to rub my cock back to life.
I was not thinking about sex when she rolled me over, I still had shark on my brain. However, like a good woman, she knew just how to bring me back from my mental hell.
She started to give me head.
I made a quick telephone to God. "Thank you, God!"
She was rubbing my asshole with her index finger, while she licked my cock, and then she dived in to swallow my cock!
She was making the following sounds as I lay horizontal on the bed: "Gulluck, gulluck, gulluck."
A great sound to hear after a hard day.
Then my spouse pulled her tities out of her bra to give me extra strength in my cock, and sure enough, as soon as I saw those hot nipples, my spouse told me, "Cum, baby! Cum my mouth!"
Those were the magic words, and my cock went into over-drive, and I shot my load into her gorgeous, little mouth!
She swallowed my cum like a pro. She wrapped her tongue around my cock, and then licked all the remaining cum off my cock and her fingers.
Thank you God!
My wife then asked me, "Do you feel better now?" I replied, "I feel 100% better, dear. I feel like brand new. Thank you!"
As my wife headed to the bathroom to wash-up, I heard her say, "I did tell you not to go." I replied, "Yes, dear."
My father told me the rules of marriage. Before I got married, he said the following: "Son, there are only four rules you need to remember." I replied, "Only four? Yes. Only four. "
Here's what he told me:
1. Always tell your wife you love her daily,
2. If you're tired and your wife asks you a question, always reply, "Yes, dear."
3. If any conversation goes sideways, just "shut the fuck up," listen to her, and revert to one and two.
4. At the dinner table, pay 100% of your attention to her. Do not watch the news while at the dinner table.
Everything else will work itself out. And sure enough, I stuck to those rules the entire time I've been married, and I have had a good marriage.
I heard that 50% of marriages end in divorce; sadly, those men did not know these four rules before marriage.
My wife came back from the bathroom to tuck me in. I woke up, two hours later. I felt much better.
Women always revert back to a form of motherhood and treat grown men like little boys, which is Ok.
I think all men want to be treated like little boys by their wives every once in a while.
God, I love women!
Every time I see the movie "Jaws," I have a flashback of my Cape Town shark cage adventure.
Would I do it again? Yes. I did something unique. I Lived life to the fullest, which is what life is all about.
Now, let's talk about romance on summer vacation.
Outdoor Sex in South Africa
I had three possibilities for outdoor romance in South Africa. One, I could take my spouse to the Table Mountains that overlooked the hotel in the distance, or two, I could go on a safari, or three we could have sex at the beach.
The third choice, I eliminated immediately. I did not want to get "limp-dick" at the beach thinking about great white sharks lurking a hundred yards off the beach. So the beach was OUT!
The second choice, go on a safari, which is a two and half hour drive to the Breede River, Hex River Wine Valley, and view of the Table Mountains along the way.
The problem with safaris is that there didn't seem to be many places you could hide behind to have sex on a safari.
Not to mention there are several different safari tours being conducted in the same area, and there could be children in one of the safari tours.
So the safari is out.
So that left the Table Mountains, which looked breathtaking! This means, I must drive Helen and myself using a Jeep rental.
I called Hertz rental at the airport, and the only thing they have are coupes and SUVs. They were charging $400 to $600 for an SUV, which I thought was high, but the problem with SUVs is their low center of gravity.
I rented a SUV in northwest, Montana (USA). I went off the road, and my oil pan hit a big rock, forcing me to take the vehicle back to the rental agency before losing all my oil.
So SUVs are not my choice for an off road vehicle for South Africa.
Well, I checked around and found a company that would rent me Jeep with a reinforced bottom and a winch.
Just what I was looking for!
However, the cost for the Jeep rental was $1,100 per day. A steep price, but I do not want to be left without transportation in the South African outback.
Everything seemed perfect. Now I just need to head back to the hotel and get Helen for our excursion to the mountains.
I went to the kitchen of one of the restaurants inside the hotel, and they created a picnic basket/cooler for us. We had goodies to eat, wine, glasses, and a large blanket.
The kitchen staff said they loaded three South African goodies in our picnic basket/cooler. They were the following:
Biltong & Droewors - South Africa's take on salami, but made from wild boar and spices.
Boerewors - South Africa's form of mixed meat sausage with spices, which they barbecued.
Cape Malay Curry and Yellow Rice - Similar to Indian curry and rice, but has a unique twist of cinnamon, saffron, and chili. It's prevalent in South Africa.
A mix of grapes, strawberries, and pineapple skewers.
And two bottles of Chenin Blanc (South Africa white wine).
Wow! I can't wait to devour the goodies!
I tipped the staff a hundred dollar bill for doing an excellent job of creating everything we needed for a great picnic.
One special note about South Africa, they drive on the left hand side of the road. And I have never driven on the left side of the road, but I was not having any problem.
To me it was no big deal. I was more worried about the speed limit.
They have the following speed limits:
60km/h (approx. 40 miles per hour) on a public road within an urban area.
100 km/h (approx. 65 miles per hour) on a public road outside an urban area.
120 km/h (75 miles per hour) on every freeway.
South Africa has red circle signs with 120 km/h, and sometimes you see a blue circle sign with 80 km/h.
I paid no attention to any speed signs and followed the three guidelines above while I drove through South Africa.
My wife kept asking me, "Are we driving at the correct speed? Yes, dear. We're going the correct speed."
In reality, I had no clue, if I was driving at the correct speed. I was more worried about a South African cop pulling me over, but it never happened. Thank God!
The radio is much different than the mix of rock, r&b, hip-hop, pop, country, or classical you get in the USA.
The radio stations I did get, the music starts out with drums, then leads into jazz slant, and then progresses into a modified hip-hop with local South African slang.
However, it was good to listen to something completely different for a change. Most Americans, I believe, would like to listen to South African radio, if we were just given a chance to listen to their music.
Well, it took us about 25 minutes to get to Tabletop National Park, but it took another 45 minutes to find a suitable place for a picnic area that was secluded, since there were a lot of people in the park.